A Wedding Poem

i thought of broken glass

when you made my world real.

the sound of cracking shards

beneath my bare feet.

cooling molasses of time covered in dust

of a thousand frosted moments 

all forgotten when the glass cracked.

you took my hand in both of yours

drawing me through it all

past the broken window

through which i had been looking in.

you made my world real.

Winter Is Not Yet Gone

The drifter by the newstand looks up,

No chance of rain on this Sunday morning,

Perhaps a ray of sunshine will warm his sleep,

Before the cold of night sets in and reminds him

That winter is not yet gone.

She lays in the sunfilled window sil,

In silence to dream her sunlit dreams,

She's a cat and she has no cares,

Only the knowledge that it does not matter

That winter is not yet gone.

In The Other Room

I thought for so long
                                that I'd dreamt you,
Created you out of shattering wishes,
                 crumbling hopes;
But I can see you now,
                          touch you even,
All it takes is a handful of steps
                                     into another room.
Not twenty feet away
                                  just in the other room.

Conversations with Characters II: June Granger

You're as frustrating as a wombat, dear June,

Feisty June,

June who always knows her way,

Won't let anyone else have a say.

You're funny when you rhyme things, lady writer,

Collected you,

You who sits writes what you believe true,

Don't let others tell you what to do.

You're hard to write, dear June,

Elegant June,

Stripper darling hating spring

Because of all the baggage it'll bring.

I'm glad I confound you, lady writer,

Prolific you,

Since I'm not what you normally see,

I'm not of your world nor would I be.

Conversations with Characters I: T.A

If only
You would right yourself
Strange darkness.
You reside in the face
I can picture,
I even know what your voice is made of:
Liquid, silken steel
Rising to a storm when you are angered
- and you are rarely truly angered - 
yet soft and still in the council hall,
Able to bring the entire chamber to silence.
I know you
And yet I can't,
Because you're not letting me realise you,
Darkest one,
With all your inner, concealed confusion,
About who you are and why you did as you have done.
Conflicted?
No, you're not,
You're too decided,
That's your flaw,
And when I throw your lot in with hers,
All fire and reckless charges,
You balk and stare back out at me from the screen,
as though to ask
"Did you want me to change her from who she is?"
I ought to reply that that's not the point,
but I know what you'd say:
"Let the Dar'nayl take care its own."

Outside our Windows

Here then

A new light for you

A new type of fire.

It's lit up the world outside our windows,

Focused on

Strange roots and bark and tree.

Beautifying

Terrifying.

World alight

Outside our windows.

Heartslaying

i remember when you kissed me in that kitchen
the warmth and taste of you


desire emptying into me
a pouring cliche
stomach heated with burning fireflies
and the silent whistling ache throughout my body


heart slaying.


i remember kissing you in that car
the warmth and taste of you


conquering armies surrounding me
reminding me
troy fell in ten years
you felled me in ten days
and the silent whistling mortality of longing


heart slaying.

Self Reflections

"These are not my stars,"  she said,
Looking up into the night,
"This is not my sky.
Why have you brought me here, my love,
Where the air is strange and the world frozen?
Where the birds come in only monochrome?
Why have you brought me here?"


"This is where you're from, my dear," I told her promptly,
"This is where your roots are,
This is where you were born,
I thought you'd be happy to see it again."


"It's not that I'm not happy here," she responded quietly,
"It's that here my blood runs cold and the woods are silent,
When I'm here I can't hear my heartbeat on the wind.
There's no fire in the bush,
No flood on the land."


"You could relearn it here, my love," I whispered,
"And learn to live here again like before."


"Of course I could," she replied,
And looked at me with a saddened smile,
"I can probably learn to live anywhere,
But when I'm there,
I'm alive and I belong somewhere."


"But emotions and attachments are ephemeral, love,
What you feel for him now might be ripped form you again."


"Life is too short to be afraid of the unknowable, my dear,
We've been afraid for so long.
Look up into this sky and tell me what you see."


I did then as she asked me,
Turning my face away from the mirror 
And looking up into the night,
"You're right," I whispered to myself,
"These are not my stars."

When I Get Lost

Child of too many worlds,
It's okay to be afraid:
Stranger things have happened to you,
                                   Remember?
Child without a single home,
It's alright to be lost,
Your feet don't have to remember
                        where to return to.
Child beneath wide skies,
You can tremble at the world,
But there is a place or person for you too
                      for you to belong.

Prayers of Fire and Fear

Being in love is like being on fire,

Stop, drop, roll,

But your brain is already on fire,

Burning, burning, burning,

All of it is burning like Troy on fire

And nothing left to hold back,

No walls left to capture or break.

Being in love is like being on fire,

Drowning me in happiness and 
Revives me to fear?

Fear of losing what I've found,

Fear of those high walls rebuilding, rebuilding

Higher, higher until they are there again 

As they were in the beginning.

I only my words to be the ivy that can grow 
Up, up, up those walls.

I only my hopes that those walls 
Will still be cracked,

When I return.

Fear reviving,

Happy tears lull me to long needed slumber,

At your side

In your arms.

Fleeting

My time is made from the seconds it takes
                                       for petals to fall;
A brief breath after a serenade's final note.
My time is made from passers by along a
                                     seaside sidewalk;
A child's laughter fading to adult whispers.
My time is the empty places in cupboards
                       between cups and glasses;
Silken touches of cold star-crossed lovers.

Away

Iced cold knife tip
- burning way through -
Following the line
down the rigid spine
searing a path.


Every step against the tide
- against the tugging -
Wrenching agony
dislocating not only limbs
but self.


Forced a-drift by circumstance
- frustrating agony -
Relieved only by the steps
taken backwards.

Speak To Me

Speak to me of stolen things,

Fallen things,

Forgotten things.

Tell me how you found my heart,

And how you hold it in your hand.

Show me how sweet life can be,

And how truth can make stars seem dull.

Talk to me of broken things,

Crumpled things,

Rusted things.

Tell me how I took your heart,

And set it back in place.

Show me how my life could be

Complete if I had not ever been with you.

My Contradiction

You're the storm and the eye of it,

The calm and the turbulence,

You're the Spielberg flick and the psalm to me.

Never knew what broken meant until you up and fixed me,

Crumbling pieces of dust and decay that sort into feelings.

You're the confusion and the sense,

The philosopher and the nihilist,

Beautifully disharmonic and complete.

Dollhouse

Carefully tailored answers so you can hear what you want,

A smile flashed at just the right time,

You know I’m meant for you.

There’s no one on this planet who loves you more than me,

Every atom of my soul is buzzing all for you.

I won’t whine or bitch or cry cos that’s not what you want,

I’ll be your girl for all these moments,

Each one an eternity

Cos that’s the way I’m wired,

Yeah, that’s the way they wired me for you.

There are Things

There are things I cannot say to you,

- because of who I am -

- because of who you are -

I've never had this before and the inexperience can be daunting,

So I hesitate, so I watch.

You've been built up and cracked too many times before,

So you're silent, so you sit.

Your walls are mortared with past and present,

Mine crumble beneath future's hopes.

And somewhere our walls intersect,

Building the foundation of a fortress perhaps,

Inside where we can maybe let go.

Where I can say things I cannot say.

I cannot say "I love you" 

because I'm scared to,

I cannot say "for always" 

because you've lost your faith in forever.

These are things I cannot say,

But maybe I do not have to.

Lash of Flames

The sunlight fills my room

With gold and oranges;

It's like fire is beating at my door,

Not so unheard of in this country

That floods like the Nile and burns like the sun.

That people live here is at first a wonder,

Then a joy.

This country falsely sunburnt in broken visions,

Living radiant in every breath of hurricane

And ever lash of flame.

Murmurs

Drift away on the wings of silence

And carry the murmurs in the palm of your hand

Like memories that you will never forget.

Wake with the morning

And dream of the sunshine in the water

And carry the murmurs in the back of your mind

Like shivers of silver and glass.

Walk with the night in the darkness

That flows around you in eddies and reflections

And carry the murmurs in the core of your soul

So that you may always remember

Who you were before.

Explosive Love

So I thought I saw you today,

We may even have talked!

Conversed is too strong a word

For worded meanderings

Between empty lovers.

Having dinner and a movie

Is just to get us through the motions:

Let’s pretend, play house.

At least we can say

That Spielberg’s done it again.

‘God I wish our sex had that

Many Explosions.’

The latter sentiment left

Unspoken.

Because we’re not ready

To suggest it.

You drove me home.

The same CD as years before,

The same words.

‘…in a brave new world…’

The same words,

Both bridge and barrier

Between empty lovers.

It’s strange though the sky blue

In the middle of night

That you love

That I’m wearing.

Or that you turn

And give me that smile

That brought me

Into Chaos.

That’s no illusion.

No explosion!

There’s still something here.

We’ve just become more careful.

I know you won’t make

The first move so

I move.

You pretend to think.

I lean in and whisper in your mind.

So you chuckle and park the car.

Lead me on.

And before long we’re trying

Our own movie stunts

The kind that’d make us blush.

Like explosions.

It gives us something to talk about,

Made happy by re-igniting the hidden flame.

Us empty lovers

Full

And once more

Content.

The Final Line

Great Muses in your golden realm,

Will not you hear my plea?

And sound a bell to end my torture

And tell me what you see?

Great Ladies you who number nine,

Can not you give me thought?

To tell me how to write and sing

And tell me tales to wrought?

Great Ones in the skies above,

Hear my cry and answer!

End this barren drought of mine,

Send to me your words and sounds

That I may write this final line!