Heartslaying

i remember when you kissed me in that kitchen
the warmth and taste of you


desire emptying into me
a pouring cliche
stomach heated with burning fireflies
and the silent whistling ache throughout my body


heart slaying.


i remember kissing you in that car
the warmth and taste of you


conquering armies surrounding me
reminding me
troy fell in ten years
you felled me in ten days
and the silent whistling mortality of longing


heart slaying.

Self Reflections

"These are not my stars,"  she said,
Looking up into the night,
"This is not my sky.
Why have you brought me here, my love,
Where the air is strange and the world frozen?
Where the birds come in only monochrome?
Why have you brought me here?"


"This is where you're from, my dear," I told her promptly,
"This is where your roots are,
This is where you were born,
I thought you'd be happy to see it again."


"It's not that I'm not happy here," she responded quietly,
"It's that here my blood runs cold and the woods are silent,
When I'm here I can't hear my heartbeat on the wind.
There's no fire in the bush,
No flood on the land."


"You could relearn it here, my love," I whispered,
"And learn to live here again like before."


"Of course I could," she replied,
And looked at me with a saddened smile,
"I can probably learn to live anywhere,
But when I'm there,
I'm alive and I belong somewhere."


"But emotions and attachments are ephemeral, love,
What you feel for him now might be ripped form you again."


"Life is too short to be afraid of the unknowable, my dear,
We've been afraid for so long.
Look up into this sky and tell me what you see."


I did then as she asked me,
Turning my face away from the mirror 
And looking up into the night,
"You're right," I whispered to myself,
"These are not my stars."

When I Get Lost

Child of too many worlds,
It's okay to be afraid:
Stranger things have happened to you,
                                   Remember?
Child without a single home,
It's alright to be lost,
Your feet don't have to remember
                        where to return to.
Child beneath wide skies,
You can tremble at the world,
But there is a place or person for you too
                      for you to belong.

Prayers of Fire and Fear

Being in love is like being on fire,

Stop, drop, roll,

But your brain is already on fire,

Burning, burning, burning,

All of it is burning like Troy on fire

And nothing left to hold back,

No walls left to capture or break.

Being in love is like being on fire,

Drowning me in happiness and 
Revives me to fear?

Fear of losing what I've found,

Fear of those high walls rebuilding, rebuilding

Higher, higher until they are there again 

As they were in the beginning.

I only my words to be the ivy that can grow 
Up, up, up those walls.

I only my hopes that those walls 
Will still be cracked,

When I return.

Fear reviving,

Happy tears lull me to long needed slumber,

At your side

In your arms.

Fleeting

My time is made from the seconds it takes
                                       for petals to fall;
A brief breath after a serenade's final note.
My time is made from passers by along a
                                     seaside sidewalk;
A child's laughter fading to adult whispers.
My time is the empty places in cupboards
                       between cups and glasses;
Silken touches of cold star-crossed lovers.

Away

Iced cold knife tip
- burning way through -
Following the line
down the rigid spine
searing a path.


Every step against the tide
- against the tugging -
Wrenching agony
dislocating not only limbs
but self.


Forced a-drift by circumstance
- frustrating agony -
Relieved only by the steps
taken backwards.

Speak To Me

Speak to me of stolen things,

Fallen things,

Forgotten things.

Tell me how you found my heart,

And how you hold it in your hand.

Show me how sweet life can be,

And how truth can make stars seem dull.

Talk to me of broken things,

Crumpled things,

Rusted things.

Tell me how I took your heart,

And set it back in place.

Show me how my life could be

Complete if I had not ever been with you.