My Contradiction

You're the storm and the eye of it,

The calm and the turbulence,

You're the Spielberg flick and the psalm to me.

Never knew what broken meant until you up and fixed me,

Crumbling pieces of dust and decay that sort into feelings.

You're the confusion and the sense,

The philosopher and the nihilist,

Beautifully disharmonic and complete.

Dollhouse

Carefully tailored answers so you can hear what you want,

A smile flashed at just the right time,

You know I’m meant for you.

There’s no one on this planet who loves you more than me,

Every atom of my soul is buzzing all for you.

I won’t whine or bitch or cry cos that’s not what you want,

I’ll be your girl for all these moments,

Each one an eternity

Cos that’s the way I’m wired,

Yeah, that’s the way they wired me for you.

There are Things

There are things I cannot say to you,

- because of who I am -

- because of who you are -

I've never had this before and the inexperience can be daunting,

So I hesitate, so I watch.

You've been built up and cracked too many times before,

So you're silent, so you sit.

Your walls are mortared with past and present,

Mine crumble beneath future's hopes.

And somewhere our walls intersect,

Building the foundation of a fortress perhaps,

Inside where we can maybe let go.

Where I can say things I cannot say.

I cannot say "I love you" 

because I'm scared to,

I cannot say "for always" 

because you've lost your faith in forever.

These are things I cannot say,

But maybe I do not have to.

Lash of Flames

The sunlight fills my room

With gold and oranges;

It's like fire is beating at my door,

Not so unheard of in this country

That floods like the Nile and burns like the sun.

That people live here is at first a wonder,

Then a joy.

This country falsely sunburnt in broken visions,

Living radiant in every breath of hurricane

And ever lash of flame.

Murmurs

Drift away on the wings of silence

And carry the murmurs in the palm of your hand

Like memories that you will never forget.

Wake with the morning

And dream of the sunshine in the water

And carry the murmurs in the back of your mind

Like shivers of silver and glass.

Walk with the night in the darkness

That flows around you in eddies and reflections

And carry the murmurs in the core of your soul

So that you may always remember

Who you were before.

Explosive Love

So I thought I saw you today,

We may even have talked!

Conversed is too strong a word

For worded meanderings

Between empty lovers.

Having dinner and a movie

Is just to get us through the motions:

Let’s pretend, play house.

At least we can say

That Spielberg’s done it again.

‘God I wish our sex had that

Many Explosions.’

The latter sentiment left

Unspoken.

Because we’re not ready

To suggest it.

You drove me home.

The same CD as years before,

The same words.

‘…in a brave new world…’

The same words,

Both bridge and barrier

Between empty lovers.

It’s strange though the sky blue

In the middle of night

That you love

That I’m wearing.

Or that you turn

And give me that smile

That brought me

Into Chaos.

That’s no illusion.

No explosion!

There’s still something here.

We’ve just become more careful.

I know you won’t make

The first move so

I move.

You pretend to think.

I lean in and whisper in your mind.

So you chuckle and park the car.

Lead me on.

And before long we’re trying

Our own movie stunts

The kind that’d make us blush.

Like explosions.

It gives us something to talk about,

Made happy by re-igniting the hidden flame.

Us empty lovers

Full

And once more

Content.

The Final Line

Great Muses in your golden realm,

Will not you hear my plea?

And sound a bell to end my torture

And tell me what you see?

Great Ladies you who number nine,

Can not you give me thought?

To tell me how to write and sing

And tell me tales to wrought?

Great Ones in the skies above,

Hear my cry and answer!

End this barren drought of mine,

Send to me your words and sounds

That I may write this final line!